I’m again in united States, trying to practice and learn english. I had the the idea that I handle the language after my English course in Illinois, but then, when I have to face the daily conversations, I realize that it is not true.
When I was in my school, I studied english every day, I read some books and used to write small essays. I’m grateful for these time, because they give me now some of this abilities that bloom when I have to write a text or to maintain a conversation.
However, I have to say that I’m loosing my communication skills. And I’m not talking just about the words, vocabulary and grammar. I’m talking about the ability to speak with somebody about any topic that I have in mind. Even in Spanish, my mother tongue, I have problems to express the feelings and thoughts. That is the reason why I decide to open again this space (blog), and tell you in English some of my thought of each two or three days. To the grain, my first idea:
To learn how to listen and understand the others, you have to understand gestures, movements, the voice tone, the sentence stress and the cadence. This dance that each voice select when you are talking.
Since I came to Boston, one month ago, I was surprised for the kind attitude of the people. Everybody smile and act as if they are interested in what you are talking about. They never say that you are doing something wrong, just try to “justify” or “accept” the reason why yo do something. May be the idea is still too vague and it is necessary to make an example: When we were choosing our home, many people advice us that was better to select a place in Brookline, because there is the best school system. However, we didn’t find a good commute between the house we chose and our job, so at the end we decided to live in Boston, close to NU (Northeaster University). This decision sacrifice our son school.
When we talked with the people who advised us to be in Brookline, they said: wow!, congratulations, is a good idea to be close in the university, and you son will learn english too! After I heard this response, I thought for my self: aren’t the people engaged with them advise? are they answering just to be friendly?
I didn’t have an answer to my questions. At the end, the language is a barrer to meet and read the people. If you don’t understand how they use to answer or what is the correct behavior, or the usual for them to response, is difficult to discover their motivations.
The last week, I was buying some tea for our home, and the girl in the store was smiling and always answer to each of my questions: yeahhhhhh, sureeeee, with that special “kind cadence”. So, was natural for me felt as everybody is a lier, everybody is masking the real thoughts with that cordial behavior that get me nervous. How much of all you listen is true? I felt angry, sad, and far of everybody.
However, always the epiphany comes. Always ,when I’m walking, taking the shower or just in a silent moment. The epiphany was: I was who was wrong. the people is not a lier, in contrast, they always try to see the better side of the situation, try to see the right side, the bright face of the moon. They try to rescue the positive aspect of each situation. They are dancing with the language to the happy side of the river. Or are least, that is what I’m guessing about their voice rhythm. And if you are in this side, is more difficult to get angry or uncomfortable.
After this understanding, I noted that I’m not just learning the language, the word pronunciation, the stress of each syllable. I’m learning a moral teaching throw the dance with the ‘kind cadence’.